tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26775044201997219252024-02-19T22:17:19.323-08:00Adventures of a Newly Single WomanCarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01546935647126543592noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2677504420199721925.post-72524805005873059672013-08-28T09:55:00.003-07:002013-08-28T09:55:56.062-07:00End of summer updateStill seeing my Punk Rock Bad Boy (PRBB), Blow Job Guy (BJG) and also keeping my options open with other guys.<br />
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Sometimes I wonder if my approach to my love life is ok. I wonder if I should just "settle" for one person even if he doesn't have all the qualities I want in a man, or if he doesn't satisfy me in all the strange ways I need to be satisfied.<br />
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Then I think about my friends who are married or dating just one person. They always seem to complain about their significant other. "He's great, but..." I say that too, but usually I can get whatever the "but" is that he doesn't do from someone else.<br />
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So, here's my strange list of partners that I currently want (don't judge):<br />
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Someone for amazing sex (got it with PRBB)<br />
Someone for the kinkier stuff (got it with BJG)<br />
Someone for cuddles (still looking for this one)<br />
A woman for, ya know, womanly stuff (still looking for this one as well)<br />
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So there's my list. PRBB & BJG know about each other and are completely fine with me seeing both of them. PRBB of course wants the blow jobs as well, but he's a little hesitant to do some of the other kinky stuff with me. I guess if the time comes that he's willing to and is actually into doing those things for me I'll drop BJG off the list. Does that sound too harsh?<br />
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Any of the 4 people on my list could be combined, I guess, but I just don't see that happening. Does that mean I've given up on "true love"? Probably, but it's a harsh reality for me. I'm jaded after the divorce. I know I'll never get married again and probably won't have a serious relationship for a really long time. I think I'm ok with that for now at least. I can change my mind anytime I want! It's my prerogative. You're welcome for the Bobby Brown song that is now stuck in your head!Carahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01546935647126543592noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2677504420199721925.post-26309449545474202792013-08-06T19:16:00.000-07:002013-08-06T19:16:40.358-07:00Spoke too soonSo, I'm down to just one guy now. I know, most people would thing that's a good thing, but I don't! I need a balance, damn it.<br />
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<a name='more'></a>Guy #2 sent me a text on Sunday night saying that he had a great time with me on our date, but he doesn't think we make a good match. Now let me say, this is after he told me <b style="font-style: italic;">twice </b>between our date on Tuesday and Saturday that he really wanted a second date. *sigh*<br />
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Fortunately, I saw guy #1 on Sunday evening. We hung out at his place then eventually had sex. Now, we had sex back in the day, but neither of us remember it! I think I'm glad I didn't remember it, it may have made me disappointed with my ex! hehehehe<br />
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Afterwards he got into the shower and I almost left! Just like I did before, back in the day. I texted a friend and she "talked me down." When he got out of the shower he asked why I got dressed, I told him that I almost left. He gave me a strange look, but didn't really say anything. I told him that he just has to bear with me and that feeling that I should run will be less and less each time.<br />
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He told me that he feels different around me than he has with any other women. I had to make sure he meant good different and not bad different. He said yeah, good different.<br />
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He said that everything tells him that he shouldn't want to be with me. There are things that I do that he doesn't like and things that he likes that I don't do, but he's still completely attracted to me.<br />
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I'm so smitten with him even though everything is telling me that I shouldn't be because he's a bad boy.<br />
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So I guess that we're going into this with a fear of getting into this. I have a feeling that it's going to be a long time before we truly trust each other, but I also have a feeling that we're going to have a lot of fun along the way!Carahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01546935647126543592noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2677504420199721925.post-83658478477839125082013-08-04T11:11:00.000-07:002013-08-04T11:11:02.629-07:00Save a boyfriend for a rainy day - and another, in case it doesn't rain (Mae West)I have considered myself polyamorous for a long time, but I think I found the right mix of things now. I have always had the mindset that there isn't one person who could provide me with everything I want/need so I have to find multiple people to fill all my needs.<br />
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<a name='more'></a>In the past my choice has been a man and a woman. It seemed like the most logical choice. There are very obvious things that a man can't provide that a woman can and vice versa.<br />
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Toward the end of my marriage I had a girlfriend. We were pretty serious and I was truly on my way to falling in love with her. Here's where it went bad: when I told her that my husband wanted a divorce she broke up with me. She told me that I needed to focus on my relationship with him. I think that's a crock.<br />
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So, bottom line, I have more trouble trusting women now than men. It seems strange since I was dumped by both a man and a woman within a week, but I knew that the divorce was coming eventually; I didn't know that the breakup with my girlfriend was coming.<br />
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Back to the original thought for this blog: I am dating 2 guys right now and I'm loving it!<br />
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One is a bad boy on the outside but a really nice guy. He's the one I've know since I was 15 so we don't have to go through the awkwardness of getting to know each other that way, but we do have the thrill of getting to know what each of us has been doing in the past 20ish years since we saw each other last. There's amazing sexual chemistry (that I'm so glad is still there 20 years later) and there's things that we talk about that I haven't been comfortable talking to someone about in years.<br />
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The other guy is sweet and a big reader. We've read a lot of the same books and love a lot of the same authors. Even though I like that I don't have the awkwardness of getting to know each other with #1, I love that I have to work my way through that with #2! There is some amazing chemistry there as well, but different than with #1.<br />
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Between these two men I have everything I have wanted in a relationship, things that I don't think that one man can provide, but I don't have any problem with finding multiple people to fill my needs.<br />
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While they don't necessarily know about each other, they both know that I'm dating someone else as well and they're both perfectly fine with it.<br />
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#1 just recently got out of a 10 year relationship and doesn't think he's ready for another serious relationship yet. #2 was married to his HS sweetheart for 20 years and doesn't think that he would ever want to get married again.<br />
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I've been thinking of the different social circles I'm in and which guy would fit in best with each group. I'm not sure how well it will work out doing things this way since I haven't done it before, but I've gotta try it!Carahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01546935647126543592noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2677504420199721925.post-32983869057702255252013-08-03T11:17:00.001-07:002013-08-03T11:18:10.596-07:00Workin' itSo in addition to jumping back into dating I'm also getting back to exercising regularly. I got the DVD of Serpentine Belly Dance with Rachel Brice. I love it!<br />
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There's a section of yoga for belly dance. It really focuses on strengthening the back, hips and legs. It's totally what I need! My back feels better every day!<br />
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I skipped a couple of days this week. Wednesday we went to Magic Mountain, Thursday I worked more hours than I was supposed to and then had a board meeting after work, and then Friday I was feeling really sick.<br />
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Last night I woke up with horrible back pain...and again this morning. I was originally going to only do the exercises on the weekdays, but now I think that skipping the weekend would be bad for my back.<br />
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Ya know, part of the reason I'm back into my physical fitness is for my well-being but part of it is also so that I look better naked. Shallow, I know, but it's really something that bothers me...<br />
<br />Carahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01546935647126543592noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2677504420199721925.post-43999586929580896212013-08-01T16:39:00.000-07:002013-08-02T08:48:07.889-07:00Starting new...again!Well, I had a blog on another site with this same name. That site was shit, so I'm here now!<br />
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My last blog over there was in January about a guy I was really excited to meet in person because we were making such a connection online. That ended up being a bust. All he wanted was a blowjob, nothing more.<br />
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So, I got super discouraged about dating again and deleted my OKCupid account...again. Work got crazy and I really didn't have time for a relationship of any sort for a while.<br />
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Then in May I decided to reactivate my OKC account. I was looking around on there one day & found a guy that I had a huge crush on when I was about 16 years old and he was 19. We hung out in the same crowd down in Hollywood for years. He'd ask me to have sex with him periodically and I would say no every time. Then one day I said yes, I was almost 20 by that time. The sex was great, but for some reason I bolted in the morning before he even woke up and didn't see him ever again! I know, if I were a guy I would be told that was a "dick move."<br />
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So, I decided to send him a message on OKC, he responded and we started chatting. Eventually we exchanged phone numbers. He called, I missed the call, I called him back and left a voice mail. I totally thought that that was the end of it.<br />
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Then a week later he calls me out of the blue on a Sunday afternoon asking if I wanted to come over for a BBQ. I happened to be in the same city he lives in so I went over. There was so much chemistry, but we played it super safe, not even a kiss good bye.<br />
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I went over the next weekend as well...that time we didn't play it quite as safe. We found out that the sexual attraction and chemistry was still there.<br />
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We have talked about how neither of us is ready to be monogamous quite yet. He's fresh out of a 10 year relationship and I'm barely 2 years out of a 16 year relationship. We're going to continue to have fun with each other and with other people as well.<br />
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Speaking of other people...I met someone else on OKC just this past Sunday! His first message to me was that he liked that I said that I love dystopian fiction, but he also immediately asked if I wanted to go out for coffee/drinks! I told him that maybe we should get to know each other a bit more online before meeting in person!<br />
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We chatted for a few hours that night and found out that we really have a lot in common besides dystopian fiction.<br />
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I sent him a message when I got home Monday from work and then we ended up chatting for a few hours that night as well! We talked about my being poly and he said that he thinks he could be with someone who was also with someone else, so we'll see how that goes. He also apologized for being too forward with his first message by asking me on a date. I told him that was ok and that he should maybe ask again.<br />
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He asked when I was available. The only evening this week that I was available was Tuesday. So we went out the next night!<br />
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We went to Senior Gomez' Courtyard. I've never been there despite living less than 3 miles from it for over 15 years! The food was mediocre, but the company was fantastic! We talked and laughed and flirted for about 3 hours before we realized that they really wanted to close the place. So he walked me to my car and we had a bit of a make-out session in the parking lot...I felt like a teen again! He's a really good kisser and he said that I was as well.<br />
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So, it looks like I have 2 guys to date...I'm feeling pretty good about this.<br />
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Until next time...which will be soon!<br />
<br />Carahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01546935647126543592noreply@blogger.com0