Still seeing my Punk Rock Bad Boy (PRBB), Blow Job Guy (BJG) and also keeping my options open with other guys.
Sometimes I wonder if my approach to my love life is ok. I wonder if I should just "settle" for one person even if he doesn't have all the qualities I want in a man, or if he doesn't satisfy me in all the strange ways I need to be satisfied.
Then I think about my friends who are married or dating just one person. They always seem to complain about their significant other. "He's great, but..." I say that too, but usually I can get whatever the "but" is that he doesn't do from someone else.
So, here's my strange list of partners that I currently want (don't judge):
Someone for amazing sex (got it with PRBB)
Someone for the kinkier stuff (got it with BJG)
Someone for cuddles (still looking for this one)
A woman for, ya know, womanly stuff (still looking for this one as well)
So there's my list. PRBB & BJG know about each other and are completely fine with me seeing both of them. PRBB of course wants the blow jobs as well, but he's a little hesitant to do some of the other kinky stuff with me. I guess if the time comes that he's willing to and is actually into doing those things for me I'll drop BJG off the list. Does that sound too harsh?
Any of the 4 people on my list could be combined, I guess, but I just don't see that happening. Does that mean I've given up on "true love"? Probably, but it's a harsh reality for me. I'm jaded after the divorce. I know I'll never get married again and probably won't have a serious relationship for a really long time. I think I'm ok with that for now at least. I can change my mind anytime I want! It's my prerogative. You're welcome for the Bobby Brown song that is now stuck in your head!