Sunday, August 4, 2013

Save a boyfriend for a rainy day - and another, in case it doesn't rain (Mae West)

I have considered myself polyamorous for a long time, but I think I found the right mix of things now. I have always had the mindset that there isn't one person who could provide me with everything I want/need so I have to find multiple people to fill all my needs.

In the past my choice has been a man and a woman. It seemed like the most logical choice. There are very obvious things that a man can't provide that a woman can and vice versa.

Toward the end of my marriage I had a girlfriend. We were pretty serious and I was truly on my way to falling in love with her. Here's where it went bad: when I told her that my husband wanted a divorce she broke up with me. She told me that I needed to focus on my relationship with him. I think that's a crock.

So, bottom line, I have more trouble trusting women now than men. It seems strange since I was dumped by both a man and a woman within a week, but I knew that the divorce was coming eventually; I didn't know that the breakup with my girlfriend was coming.

Back to the original thought for this blog: I am dating 2 guys right now and I'm loving it!

One is a bad boy on the outside but a really nice guy. He's the one I've know since I was 15 so we don't have to go through the awkwardness of getting to know each other that way, but we do have the thrill of getting to know what each of us has been doing in the past 20ish years since we saw each other last. There's amazing sexual chemistry (that I'm so glad is still there 20 years later) and there's things that we talk about that I haven't been comfortable talking to someone about in years.

The other guy is sweet and a big reader. We've read a lot of the same books and love a lot of the same authors. Even though I like that I don't have the awkwardness of getting to know each other with #1, I love that I have to work my way through that with #2! There is some amazing chemistry there as well, but different than with #1.

Between these two men I have everything I have wanted in a relationship, things that I don't think that one man can provide, but I don't have any problem with finding multiple people to fill my needs.

While they don't necessarily know about each other, they both know that I'm dating someone else as well and they're both perfectly fine with it.

#1 just recently got out of a 10 year relationship and doesn't think he's ready for another serious relationship yet. #2 was married to his HS sweetheart for 20 years and doesn't think that he would ever want to get married again.

I've been thinking of the different social circles I'm in and which guy would fit in best with each group. I'm not sure how well it will work out doing things this way since I haven't done it before, but I've gotta try it!

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